More than ever….

A great kabbalist wrote: when a father complains that his son has taken to evil ways, what should he do? Love him more than ever.  

This was taken from Kabbalist Yehuda Berg’s email newsletter. Each time I receive an email from them, it resonates so well with what I am currently going through each time and it always helps me be at peace with everything around me.

We all get to those points in life when people disappoint us and we react either by retalliating or hiding our heads in the sand. It is either we justify our anger and detach ourselves for the sake of our survival or we cry buckets of tears while listening to, of all things, Air Supply. Heaven forbid!!!!

In the midst of our misery, we end up magnifying every other negative thing around us. The more depressed you are about others or about yourself, the more it just seems to press the idea on you that you are useless or the other person is no good. Why would anyone subject themselves to this cycle everytime? Humans are capable of creating unimaginable things but when it comes to handling the most basic of our emotions, we’re total basketcases!…I blame modern society on this. We focus so much on our personal survival as we judge others, the most simplest of love and compassion takes so hard to surface.

I made a personal vow two years ago to fully accept and tolerate my children’s neurodiversity and find creative solutions from this seed of unconditional love through their disorder. (Click here to read Child of Mine. ) This decision that has been the best I’ve ever made as me and the boys have been so very very connected. Derek is so affectionate to Mommy and Henry has been an obedient son and protective kuya. If I am happiest and most effective by creating on this unconditional love for my kids, why can’t it work for other people I care about?

Most often there is a reason why people disappoint or hurt you. Unreasonable behavior may just be reflection of what they are going thru. Is that person having problems with work, relationship or money? What crisis is that person going through? If I truly understand this person, then where is my compassion?

 As much as I allow people to follow their own path, for me to stand in the wayside as their self-esteem sinks to the depths is something I can never forgive myself to allow. People in turmoil have a hard time seeing and thinking out of the box that they can’t easily snap out of their crisis. Do we yell at them and slap them to wake up? Or is it better to let them know that you care? I cannot bear the intention of saving them because they are the only ones who can do that but I will let them know that I will always be here.  I will listen for as long as I can and I will try my very best not to insist on my understanding of their crises unless they are ready.

The realists out there would have a field day with that last paragraph but as idealistic as it appears, it’s not a hard thing to do especially when you genuinely care for the other person. If another person has done so much good for me, then why am I acting like I’m the victim when they are in their worst times? If this is their problem, then why am I acting like this is all about me? Why should it be so hard to show love at a time when it is most especially needed? Least resistance takes on a different meaning here.

Today, when someone has done you wrong, love them more than ever.

If you think this is obtuse, slap me in the back of the head when you see me. I won’t judge you if you  let me slap you back!…..  :-D 

Peace everyone. Here’s to showing more love.